A Dog’s Life

I stumbled across this column by humorist Dave Barry.  It's for all you dog lovers out there.  Be warned, though:  do not read this if your bladder is full.  Just don't.  Here's the opening graph…

I'm trying to convince my wife that we need a dog.  I grew up with dogs, and am comfortable with their ways.  If we're visiting someone's home, and I suddenly experience a sensation of humid warmth, and I look down and see that my right arm has disappeared to the elbow inside the mouth of a dog the size of a medium horse, I am not alarmed.  I know that this is simply how a large, friendly dog says: "Greetings! You have a pleasing salty taste!"

Go here to read the entire column.