We crossed back into the US this afternoon at the border crossing in Portal, North Dakota. Following the instructions of the border guard, I pulled up to the booth where he was waiting. Our conversation then proceeded thusly:
He: Hello Joann.
Me: Hello….wait….did you just say my name?
He: (smirking): Yes, I did. Hello Joann. Where are you coming from today?
Me: We started in North Battleford, SK today, but we are really coming from Alaska.
He: Alaska? Why did you go there?
Me (pointing to my sister): We drove up to visit her daughter who works there.
He: Do you have any firearms, tobacco, or cigarettes?
Me: Nope.
He: (as he was looking in the back of the car) Do you have any fresh fruits or vegetables?
Me: No. Do we look like we’ve been eating fruits and vegetables for the past three weeks?
He: (laughing as he notices our snack bin full of chips and chocolate). No health food snacks here.
He: Did you make any purchases in Canada?
Me: Only gas and doughnuts.
He: Ah….you discovered Tim Horton’s!
Me: Indeed we did.
He: OK. Welcome back to the United States!
I was just glad he hadn’t asked me about my birthplace (Pakistan) or the 7 Chinese visas in my passport.