Yesterday morning I rode my bike to the office, which was a good thing because the street in front of the school where the office is located was a parking lot. A big bus and a big truck were face to face, completely surrounded by parked cars and cars trying to get around the parked cars.Some drivers were honking their horns (the ultimate exercise in futility in a situation such as this) and others looked like they were just going to settle in for the day.
“That’s funny,” I thought to myself. “It’s not Friday afternoon. Why is the street like this on a Wednesday morning?” Because I was on a bike, I just weaved my way down the street. When I entered the campus I discovered the reason for the traffic jam — there was a school program to celebrate Children’s Day (June 1), which meant parents in attendance, which meant chaos on the street.
Normally this traffic jam appears every Friday afternoon when the parents come to pick up their kids from the boarding school to take them home for the weekend. As long as I have been living and working in that neighborhood (since 1998, to be precise), this street has turned into a parking lot on Friday afternoon. One year it even provided me with an important cultural lesson.
While visiting some fellow Americans at the foreign student dormitory at a university campus in China’s Northeast, we were admiring the great view of the campus from the giant window of a 6th floor room. We could see the sports field, the swimming pool, a small lake, and hundreds of students going hither and yon on the campus. In the course of the conversation, we spotted someone walking near the lake and all agreed that said person was a foreigner. We wondered how it was that, even at 6 floors up and across campus, it was possible to make that distinction. We were too far away to see skin color or hair color or clothing styles, but we all agreed that this person was not only a foreigner, but was most likely an American.
A discussion ensued as to how and why this was possible. Finally, one of my colleagues hit the nail on the head. “It’s the way an American walks,” she said. “The walk says one of two things: ‘I own this place.’ or ‘I’m off to fix something.’” We all laughed in agreement, instinctively knowing the truth of what she said.
Sometimes Americans overseas are like 3 year olds who drive everyone in the room bonkers by asking a never-ending series of “why” questions. In most cases, what we are really asking is “why is it like this?” And what that really means is “It’s not like this at home, so it shouldn’t be like this here.” I’m not suggesting that we shouldn’t be asking ‘why’ questions; on the contrary, I’m a firm believer in them. They demonstrate a desire and willingness to learn. But I think it’s important to make a distinction between two different motivations for incessantly asking “why”.
One motivation is the desire for understanding. Why is the traffic so chaotic (at least by my standards)? Asking the “why is it like this question” may reveal the fact that until fifteen years ago, private cars were banned in China, and there were almost no taxis. That means that many of the drivers of those ubiquitous taxis and Mercedes Benz’s are rookie drivers, none of whom grew up riding in cars. So the traffic patterns of cars are merely extensions of the traffic patterns of bicycling, which are much more fluid and situational. I still may be terrified when careening through traffic on the third ring road, but it sort of makes sense.
The other motivation for asking the “why is it like this?” question is a desire to fix whatever it is that is being questioned. The question gives definition to a problem. And once a problem is defined, then it can be fixed. This chaos is fixable, thinks the American. Put in one-way streets. Put in left-turn lanes. Institute strict fines for breaking the rules. Put up stop signs. The list goes on and on and on.
Shortly after the conversation about the propensity for Americans to want to fix things, I was discussing this issue with my Chinese professor. I was describing to him the scene outside the school. I told him how, every Friday afternoon when the parents come to pick up their children, the mother of all traffic jams forms as the drivers of Cadillacs, Benz’s, Buicks, and BMW’s all jockey for position, trying to be the ones to get their car closest to the gate. Everything else in the neighborhood comes to a stop.
The question I put to my professor was why the school or the local police, or someone couldn’t come up with a way to prevent the weekly traffic jam. Since they know its’ going to happen every Friday, it seemed to me to be a problem that would be easily fixed.
His response sent light bulbs popping off in my head. First of all, he pointed out to me that the school probably didn’t do anything because it wasn’t their responsibility. The traffic jam was on the street, not on the school grounds.
I then pressed him as to why the local “paichusuo” (police station) didn’t do something, and he said that they didn’t view it as a problem either, or at least not their problem. The local police stations handle neighborhood registrations and and deal with petty crime and other activities that affect social stability. To them, as is the case with everyone else, the traffic jam is simply a weekly natural occurrence that will, within 2 or 3 hours, take care of itself. I was the only one who was viewing it as a problem to be fixed!
The following Friday, I stepped out of the gate to watch the traffic jam, this time viewing it through a different lens. I realized that not only was no one bothered by it; in fact, for the migrant workers who worked in the shops that lined the streets, it was a weekly source of entertainment, a weekly happening! Everyone was out, many with grandparents and kids in tow, watching the rich people and their cars. By supper time, it was all over and everyone went back to their regularly scheduled activities.
In their book, “American Cultural Patterns,” Stewart and Bennet discuss this American tendency to “see events as problems to be solved, based on their concepts of an underlying rational order in the world and of themselves as individual agents of action.” Americans see problems and solutions as “basic ingredients of reality.” It’s just the way life is.
But it’s not necessarily the way life is for many other cultures. In cultures (like China) that are predisposed to adapt rather than change, accepting things as they are (chaotic as that may be) is the first tendency. What a westerner calls a problem may be viewed simply as a twist of fate. In some languages, the word, “problem” is synonymous with “confusion”, which is defined as “a condition that is best addressed by stopping whatever one is doing and waiting.” Stewart and Bennet point out that attempts to solve the problem may be interpreted as contributing to the confusion.
This tendency towards fixing (be it personal or societal) can often be a source of cultural clashes when we are sojourning abroad. We look around and see so much that we don’t understand and the “why” questions start bubbling to the surface. When they do, it’s good to check ourselves to see if the questions are being motivated by the desire to fix what we perceive as being broken, or if they are motivated by a genuine desire to learn how the society is organized and the thinking patterns that lie behind it.
Well, that’s all for now…..I’m off to fix something!
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I certainly see no need to “fix” this article… and I think I know why!
Thank you for these excellent considerations! Blessings!
You got knowing laughter out of me! Thanks for realigning my response to what I observe in China. While on summer leave in the US I think I will put on the Chinese mind that adapts to things because they will change in time; it might reduce my stress level.
Oh, my. You’ve really struck a nerve. I have to share this with my wife. I’m American; she’s Chinese. I know I’ll see a smile when she reads this. Thanks for writing.
Although you are speaking cross-culturally, I see myself often in the position of asking why and seeking understanding specifically to fix the perceived problem even though I may not be aware of it. Sometimes I want to know b/c I do want to understand but often I want to know so that I can change what I don’t like. It often comes down to a matter of trusting God with the unknown and even with the unliked. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I have lived cross-culturally as a child and as an adult and your article is right on. And also it applies personally even here at home in the US. blessings to you.
Are you in Beijing? Living in Beijing myself, this makes perfect sense and I witness chaotic stuff like this happening all the time while locals just ignore or are amused by the ‘chaos’. Nice article.
Yes, I’m in Beijing. Been my home for 14 years. Glad you enjoyed the article.
Yes, it’s true for all of life.
I certainly hope she smiles.
Hope so. Have a great summer.
Actually, I think there’s a typo that needs fixing, but I decided to just leave it to make my point!
I’m an Iraqi living in America. Culturally, however, we approximate the western mindset because Iraq was a British colony for a while. Moreover, the Iraqi Christians in particular aspired to and desired the western culture. It’s all a bit complicated so I won’t go into it right now. I do want to say, that I LOVED this article! You have given me something I really need to consider, especially given my personality.
Good to be reminded that personality is a factor as well. Living cross-culturally is a full-time job!