I Want One Too!

One of the realities of living as an outsider (where I don’t belong) is missing out on all the fun guides and handbooks that the government distributes to its citizens. Earlier in the year the city government distributed hundreds of thousands of booklets instructing Beijingers on how to behave during the Olympics. It was basically a manners primer — no spitting, no pushing in line, no swearing in the local dialect, no throwing trash out the window–stuff like that. I never got one! No fair!

Yesterday the papers reported that a new handbook has been published and will be distributed, this one on how to protect yourself in case of a terrorist attack.  I guess it has helpful hints on how to spot bombs, what to do if a bomb a nuclear bomb goes off in your neighborhood, and what to do if you’re kidnapped. My favorite was the warning about smells — if something smells bad, it might be a bomb.

Sounds like useful information. They should publish an English version so we foreigners can protect ourselves as well.  That would probably just cause more problems, though, since every time a foreigner walks past a street peddler selling stinky doufu, he’d be shouting BOMB!!  BOMB!!!  Imagine the mayhem that would ensue!! Definitely not harmonious.

It would be nice to know, however, what to do in case a nuclear bomb goes off in my xiaoqu (neighborhood)!!!