A Chinese Phelps

From The Foreign Expert website comes this translation of a very funny post floating around on the Chinese internet.  It's called "If Phelps were a Chinese Athlete…"

If Phelps is a Chinese athlete, and as a Chinese wins the magic 8 gold medals in the Olympic Games, then what will happen?

First, the threshold of his house will be flattened by billions of
journalists, leaders, and neighbors coming to interview his relatives
during the Olympics. And everyday, in his house, the common room will
be crowded with people watching the games together, and hawkers will
take the opportunity to sell fireworks around his house.

He will be awarded various prizes from provincial and national
governments. You know, each gold medal is worth more or less 1 million
RMB. And those rich entrepreneurs in China will also be quite generous
towards Phelps. Besides that, hundreds of companies will come to ask
him to appear in their advertisements. Not surprisingly, within one
month after the Olympic Games, he will become a multi-billionaire.

Of course, he needs to pay taxes, and in lieu of the taxes American
citizens pay, he’ll need to pay lots of taxes with Chinese
characteristics. He needs to send each of his teachers, from
kindergarten to the current national team, from his masseuse to the
chef in the canteen, a red envelope with a large amount of money
inside. And his relatively poor relatives will also count on him to
donate some RMB to them. Moreover, all the organizations or clubs he
belongs to will also require a portion of his total income.

Keep reading for an interesting glimpse into the world of Chinese athletes and a taste of Chinese humor.  I laughed out loud!